Musings from Moose

Rutgers - 1 down, 14 to go

2009-07-08T07:02:00.001-07:00

I took my first Rutgers M.S.W. class during my PTS break. It ended on July 3 so my summer has now officially begun! I'm thrilled to have started the M.S.W. work and found the class to be very interesting. I'm also excited about the classes I'll be taking at PTS in the fall...and also about my field ed. Working at Trenton Psychiatric Hospital will help to give me a clue about what type of social work I want to do.

I'm "vacationing" at the manse this summer and love it. The wildlife is awesome...even the "domestic" wildlife. Yesterday I was going down Main Street with Tim and he had to slow down to let a chicken cross the road. No, I didn't ask the chicken why it was crossing the road! Also a family of deer love to graze in our side yard (and Tim has learned to mimic their "run for your lives" sound - they go sprinting up the hill when he does it). We've seen a baby bear playing on the ridge behind the house but never saw the mama bear. We should not have left the porridge out I suppose!

Sig

2009-05-03T17:10:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I haven't been fair. It took me much longer to post about our other new dog. I bet that is because he lives here with me...and he is the 2nd child after all. When we adopted him, his name was Keith, but since that is my brother's middle name, we decided to change it. Rachel thought of Siegfried and we call him Sig for short.

Sig is a sweetheart. He is a good boy because he is old. He sleeps most of the time. He likes most people (unless they are jogging or riding a bike or walking a dog). He seems very pleased to have been rescued from the shelter and even more pleased to have been rescued from the NYC pound.

He can sit and lay down. We're trying to teach him to flop over (because he likes to do that anyway for tummy rubs), but he's not quite getting it yet. I'll keep trying.

Kismet (Kizzy, Kiz)

2009-03-24T13:24:00.000-07:00

Driving

2009-02-28T12:41:00.000-08:00

For old times sake, I've posted a remembrance of the modifications Rachel made to my car in 2005. Read on for an update:

A few days ago, while Rachel and I were travelling down the road, I said she should take her driving permit exam this weekend. She AGREED with me (!!) and told me that even if she backed out I was to take her down there and make her take it. Well, it didn't come down to that. In fact, we left the house at 7:45 AM (on a Saturday morning) and nobody was kicking nor screaming.

At the DMV (or NJ's equivalent), there was a huge line, but they moved very quickly and within 30 minutes she had taken her test and passed. Yippee Skippy! I then offered to let her drive us to our celebratory breakfast of nannerpus pancakes (see below), but she looked at me with horror and declined, explaining that she won't be driving on those scary roads for a while (I don't blame her - and I was somewhat relieved).

The breakfast never happened. IHOP was too crowded so we decided to eat an early lunch at KFC. Turns out they aren't open at 9:15 so we went to do our banking. On the way to another KFC, we passed a lovely neighborhood by Rachel's former high school. It had wide streets and no parked cars. I suggested she try out her new permit there and to my surprise she said yes. As we were changing seats we noticed a driving school car going past and realized we made a good choice (but will never buy a house there!).

Rachel handled the curves and turns quite well. She even remembered the difference between her brake and accelerator! We didn't run into anything and the car is still in one piece. The best thing of all is we know a place she can go to practice that is not quite as scary as the other places in NJ.

Finals Week "things"

2008-12-11T13:25:00.000-08:00

I've known for four months that a 5,000-6,500 word "synthetic exercise" (a.k.a. essay) was due for my systematic theology class at the end of the term. I even got a jump on it and did the first section about a month ago, but then I kept putting it off. Now I have 2,000 words and it is due on Saturday at noon. It's no wonder my nerves are frazzled and I finally ditched the bird today. His squawking and constant need of attention fried the last of my nerves and I called the bird place we bought him from and asked if I could bring him in to get his wings and nails clipped...and to talk to them about taking him off my hands. Then I hung up and was very sad. I called Tim and he recommended I board him for a few days, until my paper is done. Then, after the Christmas holiday break, when I am thinking more clearly, I can make a decision. So, I dropped Eddie off for a vacation break from this boring apartment for a few days. As soon as I opened the door to the bird store, he perked up and got so happy. He fluffed out his wings and started squawking to all the birds in the place. It was like he was saying, "It's about time I got to have a conversation. What's happening?!" I know he will enjoy his time away, and I will too. I also know that he will have picked up some new squawkings.

Last night Rachel and I went to the seminary's "Carols of Many Nations." It was very nice. Students from other countries read Bible passages in their native tongue while we silently read along in English. Then we or the choir sang a song from that country as well. It was wonderful. The best part was the end. It brought tears to my eyes because we sang "Silent Night" as the choir sang "Peace, Peace" while we were lighting candles. It reminded me of the Duncan church in the 90's. Then we all processed out of the sanctuary onto the steps of the chapel and the quad and sang some Christmas Carols. It was a very nice night.

Now I'll be getting back to my paper. I know it will get done, but I also know that it will take longer than I planned. In my mind I would be finishing it tonight and let it stew for the next 24 hours before submitting it on Saturday. Now I'll face reality and know that it will probably only get to simmer for a few hours before submission.

Year Two, Semester One, finished (ABP)

2008-12-06T05:57:00.000-08:00

I had a bittersweet day on Wednesday. I'm usually pretty happy when I sit through the last class of a semester, but that day was different. I was glad because it meant I'm that much closer to graduating, but I was very sad because it was the last class I would take from Dr. Donald Capps. He teaches pastoral care classes and is retiring after this year. I've had three classes with him and he is my favorite professor by far. I'm sure it is because he teaches what I love, but it is also because he has such a sweet and kind demeanor. I'm going to miss him.

I also enjoyed my theology class this year. Dr. Ellen Charry taught it and this is my second class with her. She is passionate about studying about God and that passion reminds me of why I am here. Although the final for her class is a synthetic paper and it is a bit intimidating (5,000-6,500 words where we will engage our tradition, a theologian, and our beliefs), I know it will help me understand more about what I think and why than anything else I've ever done. When I finished her class on Thursday I was happy to be finished but dreading the work that would consume most of my time between then and Dec. 13 when the paper is due.

I am excited about a few things though. First, we registered for the Spring semester classes on Friday. I'll be taking classes on: Exegesis of Exodus, Theologian Karl Barth, and Introduction to Preaching. My three week short semester in May will be a class on Rhythms in Prayer where we'll actually go to a monastery for the second week of class.

I'm also excited because in just eight days I'll be headed to Oklahoma. I'll only be there from Dec. 14 - 21 because Tim and Rachel will still be in New Jersey (Tim has a job and Rachel's semester finals aren't complete until the 16th). I have a CPM (Committee on Preparation for Ministry) retreat on the 19th, but I'll also get to visit Mom, Dad, and Doug a few days before a road trip. I'll be on the road one day making stops at the Guthrie cemetary, lunch with my Aunt Babs, and then an evening in Wichita, KS where I'll meet my grandkitty and spend some time with Rebecca. She and her boyfriend, Jason, will be driving down to Duncan on Saturday to spend a pre-Christmas celebration. On Sunday we'll attend church at FPC where I get to be a liturgist, and then they will drive me back to the airport. It's going to be a whirlwind trip, but will be great fun.

I'll fly back into Philadelphia at 12:05 AM on the 22nd. After spending a day in Stillwater, NJ, Rachel and I will drive to NYC to pick up Joey so she can spend Christmas with us. We're looking forward to our first Christmas in the manse and hope more family members will be able to join us next year.

Now back to paper writing!
(For those that wonder what the ABP was about in the title, that's a take off from the PhD "kids" who put ABD after their title. It means "all but dissertation" and mine means "all but papers".)

2008-11-09T16:25:00.000-08:00

I preached today at a retirement home. Tim can have that job. I don't mind preaching occasionally, but if I had to do it every Sunday I would go crazy.

Hi Becky!! Since she is a "follower" of this blog, I figure she deserves a shout out. Now when is she going to start a blog?

I started taking a "Mindfulness" class last Friday. I'm supposed to do my mindful exercise every day, and so far I haven't done one. I have been busy with the sermon, but now I don't have that excuse.

Okay, that's it for now. I'm really not very hip on being wordy today. I guess I spent my allotment with three papers last week and a sermon!

Tim's Ordination

2008-11-03T20:46:00.000-08:00

Today I spent a few hours in the PTS library converting Tim's ordination service that was on a cassette to an MP3 file. I wish I could have figured out a way to post it on here, but all I can see is how to post pictures and movies. Oh well, if anyone wants to hear it, just let me know and I'll email it to you.
I'm very happy to have Dr. John's prayer and another person's charge to the congregation. Perhaps I'll transcribe a few of the things they said. It was pretty good. Most importantly though I am pleased that we got Tim's thank you speech on tape. As I was listening to it again today, I remember what a wonderful day it was. And when Tim was saying thank you's, I finally realized why he didn't mention me. It's because we are a team and he was thanking everyone on behalf of the two of us. I know he appreciates me because I appreciate him. We're just like that.

Psychiatric Evaluations

2008-10-31T16:03:00.001-07:00

Today was the day I picked up the report on my psychiatric evaluation. As an Inquirer in the ordination process, it is a requirement to have one. I have to admit I enjoyed the process, but as the hour drew near to pick up the report, I started to get a bit nervous.
The tests the psychiatrist gave were classics: MMPI-2, Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, Strong Vocational Interest Inventory, Rorschach Test (inkblot), House-Tree-Person Test, and more. When I arrived at his office he gave me the report to read and told me he would be back shortly to discuss it with me.
There wasn't a whole lot I was surprised about. Want to know why? Because I know that these standardized tests can only hint at what they claim to know. I've seen friends and family go through the same process and the report can be brutal. But I also know that it isn't entirely accurate. In mine, there is a part that says, "she is generally unhappy and pessimistic about life" (thank you MMPI-2). But another section says my "type" (i.e. Social Enterprising on the Strong Vocational Test) "are optimistic and enthusiastic...skilled at motivating others." Did you just get whiplash?
In the end it said what I needed to hear. He recommends that I be supported for ministry and that my goal of becoming a pastoral counselor is a "good fit for her." Hallelujah! Now on to the Committee on Preparation for Ministry in December in hopes of moving up to Candidate status.

weather

2008-10-28T06:13:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe it but this morning there was slushy sleet falling from the sky when I went to take Rachel to TCNJ. Tim (in Stillwater, NJ) may even get snow tonight. Although I love snow, I prefer it when I don't have to drive. It made me realize that this coming winter may mean even less chances for Tim and I to get together on weekends. The worst part is I really would like to share that fireplace with him! He sent me a clip of the first fire he lit this year. I guess sharing a roaring fire via the Internet shouldn't be so strange since we met that way thirteen years ago!

Ouch

2008-10-19T17:13:00.001-07:00

So my reading week started off great - not. I went to my new doctor on Thursday to get a cyst (turns out it was two) removed from my breast. They were pretty large so she made a 2 1/2" incision and put me back together with five stitches. Now, three days later, I still hurt (whine). At least she is pretty sure that it is nothing more than a cyst and pathology will let us know for sure in a week or two.

I'm glad Tim was here to help me take care of it until Saturday. Now Rachel is helping out (she carried my laundry upstairs and cooked supper). Hopefully this surgery will be like all others and things start getting more comfortable from day 4 (tomorrow) on. The stitches will come out next Friday. Thankfully, I can take it pretty easy this week. I have a review session tomorrow and work on Wednesday, but other than that I can just chill...

Another week down

2008-10-03T20:38:00.000-07:00

It already seems that this semester is flying by. I'm still enjoying my classes although the weekly analytic theology paper gives me a bit of stress. I am constantly told I do not dig deep enough but am having trouble digging with only 250 words. I guess I need to learn to get to the point a bit quicker.

A funny thing happened recently. While I was down in Moorestown buying Tim's birthday present, I noticed a hamburger joint that was Rachel's favorite chain in DC - 5 Guys. I promised her I would take her down there this week. Then I got curious and looked on the web and found that there is a 5 Guys one mile away from her college!

A few months back Tim and I discovered there was an Outback closer than the one we used to go to, and a few weeks ago I discovered a Ruth's Chris Steakhouse in Princeton (the best steak place but oh so expensive). Is this a conspiracy? Even Sonic is building a location in Mt. Holly!!! Seems that it will be even more difficult to take off pounds now. I do have a very supportive doctor now and I'm working on a plan, but when I get to have a special treat it sure will be hard to decide where to go.

Non-traditional weekends

2008-09-20T20:16:00.000-07:00

Lately it has been difficult to remember what day it is. Mostly this is due to the fact that Tim and I are observing a non-traditional weekend. I have no classes on Friday and that is Tim's day off, so we meet up on Thursday evening and separate back again on Saturday. My Fridays feel like Saturday and my Saturdays like Sundays. Now that I work on Sundays too, this will be something we'll be dealing with for the next year. It's kind of strange but I think I'll grow to like it!

End of Week 1

2008-09-18T13:26:00.001-07:00

I'm going to love this semester! We just finished the first week of our Fall semester and I absolutely loved all of my classes. No test anxiety to worry about this semester because all three of my classes are paper-writing classes.

I just love my systematic theology professor. Dr. Charry taught an introductory theology class I took last year and I learned so much from her. One can see that she teaches theology because she loves to learn about God and wants to share that passion. She has a great sense of humor and wants to be close to her students. I remember the pain she felt last year when someone got upset by a comment in class. Instead of confronting her about it, they went to the Dean. When the class learned about it, we all marched over to the Dean's office to set the record straight (the student misunderstood what she heard). Dr. Charry was very professional during the whole ordeal and she gained all our respect by the way she handled herself and also because we could tell how genuine she was. Her pain was our pain and most of us in the class were in tears before the day was over.

My other two classes are taught by Dr. Donald Capps. This is his last year and I'm fortunate to be able to arrange my schedule to take both of the classes: Minister & Mental Illness and Pastoral Care & The Life Cycle. As a Psychology student, both of the classes interest me. We'll be studying mental disorders in the first class. During the semester we will be reading the biography of John Nash (A Beautiful Mind). Dr. Capps is familiar with him personally since he also lives in Princeton.

In the Life Cycle class I am interested because Dr. Capps uses Erik Erikson's theory of the 8 Ages of Man and forms his own theory (which formed his book, Decades of Life). Dr. Capps has also interviewed Erikson's wife and daughter so he has a wealth of information that interests me.

It's going to be a GREAT semester.

Fair Warning

2008-09-14T00:45:00.000-07:00

Fair Warning!

That used to be a phrase that Tim and I heard when we watched an auction show a few years ago. Just before the auctioneer slammed down the gavel, she would shout, "Fair warning!" This is my "warning" to you readers of this next post. I will be pouring out my heart's conversation that I just had with God. It has impacted my life and for that I have to share it.

So, this is what just happened:

I just woke up for the first time tonight to use the restroom. My first thought upon awakening was, "This is going to hurt." After standing and walking so much in the past few days, I know that in the past the pain was so unbearable that I could barely walk the fifteen feet to the restroom. I sat on the edge of the bed with my feed dangling off the side and asked for help from my Father.

I know, you are probably right now thinking, "Uh oh, she has flipped out and become one of those religious zealots." Rest assured, you will only see one big change in my life. I won't be wearing sackcloth and ashes the next time you see me.

As I sat on the edge of the bed I prayed, "Please God, please take this pain away from me so that I can walk to the bathroom. I know it is my fault that I am in the pain I am in, because I am the one that ate myself to this weight, but please God, right now I can't bear the pain."

I know that we are to pray specifically and boldly and have faith that God will answer. I also know that the answer is sometime not what we hope for, but I never stop asking. I stood up, all 324 pounds of me, and for the first time in the longest time (without medication), I had no pain as I walked to the bathroom.

I was aware of every step that I took to the restroom because I also had a stability in my step that has been missing lately. I boldly even walked faster than I do just to test it out, and by the time I got to the bathroom I knew that God had listened and honored my specific request.

You need to realize that I did not pray the prayer with a vow to God on my part. I did not say, "Please God, take this pain away from me so I can go to the bathroom (and I promise I will never overeat again)." No, I know that God does not require a specific promise from me in order to get my prayer granted. It's not a magical phrase that one says, but rather an honest relationship. When my daughters ask for something from me, sometimes I can deliver that specific request, yet other times I cannot. The difference is I also usually explain why I cannot. As children of God we often are not aware of God's reasons why a request isn't answered - I think that is because we expect the same type of explanation from God.

As I took that first step, I was hoping God would grant my request. He did.

My immediate response was, "Thank you God." As I walked back to bed, again without pain, I was overcome with emotion that God had listened to me in the middle of my night and gave me that gift. I hear about other people having conversations with God in their heart. The following was mine:

Me: Father thank you, thank you.
God: Amy, I love you, you asked, you deserve it. I want to use you. In the way you take care of those around you, you should love yourself as much as you love your family and friends.
Me: I need to commit to lose weight.
God: So I can use you.
Me: I have a problem with commitment.
God: You commit all the time - to your children, your husband.
Me: I can do this.
God: Yes you can, and you will.

Then I heard sobs and myself talking out loud, "Thank you God, thank you."

I also felt that I needed to come in here at 3:45 AM and blog about it. Was my pain relief psychosomatic? Some will say yes, but I am convicted that it was an answer to prayer. Am I psychotic? Some may think yes, but rest assured I am as sane as I was the last time you saw me.

You see, I was given the courage to ask for this because I just came back from the Women of Faith Conference. I heard two speakers: Sandi Patti and Luci Swindoll speak about how they have been encouraged by God to take care of themselves. Luci has knee pain like I do (but she is also 76 years old) and they are both overweight. As they told the 17,000 women that were listening that they were doing this, I thought what a brave and bold step that was to announce it to everyone. Then I thought, I bet that will help them stick think before they overeat.

I also felt some shame because I was attending with a friend of a friend who has an eating disorder. She binges like I do sometimes, but because she fears being fat she also purges. I tried that a few times many years ago, and realized I could never do that. But as I sat there in a few seats from her, I realized that every fat person she saw probably stuck in her mind and caused her to stick her finger down her throat after her binges.

Like Luci and Sandi, I am sticking my neck out by making this public. I'm not afraid because I know that I am not perfect. I also know that God does not expect me to deny myself. His request is that I take care of myself. I intend to do that.

Need a break

2008-09-13T05:22:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I had an amazing time at the Women of Faith conference. This is my 5th or 6th conference and it may be one of the best yet. Perhaps it is because I am attending with one of my best seminary friends and her sister, or it may be the music, or the laughter...I'm not sure, but I'm posting as I'm waiting for my carpool to pick me up for day two and I'm excited.

I'll post more about that later, but for now I want to blog about the need for a break in one's life. The conference in Philly is just before seminary starts back up again. I see it as a way to recharge my batteries. Sure, I had a week in Stillwater with Tim, and that was very resting and relaxing, but this renews a different part of me.

At WOF there are young and old, married and single, widowed and divorced. Everyone comes with their own baggage, yet somewhere in the weekend everyone hears a personal message. Last night, while I was watching a comedy routine I was reminded of how (in my first marriage) I used to hide the fact that I spent money on the kids. Okay, I hid it by lying about it. Somehow spending money on cute clothes and fun toys was frivolous, but I wanted those things for my kids and I didn't want to fight about it afterward.

When I was reminded of that, I realized how blessed I am now. My husband bought a light saber for Rachel, we took a trip to the Rock-N-Roll Hall of Fame just to see the U2 exhibit, and I was strongly encouraged to go on this conference weekend. Oh, and there is a rock on my left ring finger that reminds me of that blessing as well.

All those things are nice (and I'm sorry that we couldn't have as much fun when the older kids lived with us - that seems to be common in families). While those things are nice, I am mostly thankful that I no longer have to live a life in a lie. Sometimes I forget about that, but last night I was reminded.

One more "break" I bet you are all thankful for (at least a certain child in my life) - I have paragraphs in this posting!

It's all in where you go

2008-09-08T14:57:00.000-07:00

I have been putting off this psychological evaluation for a long time. The CPM told me to do it when I was with them last December. However, after what it involved when Tim did his made me procrastinate to the last minute. I had been warned away from the place Tim went so I found a new place and am I glad I did.
I went today and spent two hours with the psychiatrist. He was a nice guy and the first hour was just answering questions about my life. Pretty low-key talk. I don't have anything to hide so it's pretty easy to lay it out there. The second hour was a bit more frustrating. Why they care what my opinion of what an ink blot looks like is beyond me. I wonder what he made of the one where I told him it looked like a couple of guys playing lacrosse? :-) The next bit of testing was embarassing. I've never been a good walking dictionary. If you use a word in a sentence, I probably know what it means, but just asking me straight out "What does pernicious mean?" makes me go blank. Oh well, he doesn't expect much out of me since I'm a graduate of Thomas Edison State College (he seemed surprised that PTS accepted me). Then I had to recreate some dots and shapes that were on a card. I tried to do my best and felt pretty proud of my work. Then he took that paper away from me and asked me to recreate any of them that I could remember. What?! I wasn't prepared for that. I also had to draw a house, tree and person, but I couldn't use a stick figure. That stinks. I'm not an artist. My person was too tall for the door. I think he'll like that I have lots of windows in my two-story house though, and my chimney had smoke coming out of it. I can't wait to hear what he thinks all that means. I also had to do the test where they have three patterns and you have to figure out what the fourth pattern is. Those always start out easy and get incredibly hard. In the end I was just guessing because I knew we were getting to the end of our time. I know I could have figured them out eventually. Oh well.
I then was handed a folder of five take home tests: two short ones and three longer ones (MMPI-2, Strong Interest Inventory, and Myers-Briggs). In 3 - 4 weeks I too will know my Myers-Briggs score. woohoo!

Pictures can't convey

2008-09-07T10:04:00.000-07:00

(Sorry, I couldn't figure out how to put these pictures where I wanted them. I'll have to work on that later!)

I finally downloaded the pictures I've talked about in the past few blogs. I realize that a picture may be worth a thousand words, but they can't convey all the thoughts and emotions behind them. For example, the first picture seems to be one of a nice, secure-looking bridge. Perhaps it is, but if you look closely you will see that bottom is made of boards! Then there is the "narrow bridge" sign...still, at least this bridge over the Delaware River was much shorter than the Delaware Memorial Bridge!! My heart beats a little faster crossing either of them.

Then we have a cute little picture of our little mouse friend. Funny how he looks so cute and innocent when he is sitting outside in nature where God intended him to be! In fact if that is where he had stayed then he would probably be alive today. When he was pooing on our counter and eating our food, then he wasn't so sweet. I'm sure PETA would be very unhappy with us, but I'm not so happy with them either. This week I saw on the news that they used an alias and put in an advertisement in Dog Fancy magazine for a free gift for people with new puppies. The problem is when someone calls the phone number, they are scolded for buying a puppy when there are many puppies that will be killed at the pound. I liken that extremist approach to the people who petition outside of abortion clinics. There are such better approaches. The nuns at the convent in NYC (Coworkers of Life) work with women who are questioning their decision. According to the sisters, many of these women see abortion as their only option. They never try to shock them with photos or stories, instead they ask them how they feel about their pregnancy and try to meet their needs. The sisters say that many of the women do not want abortion, they just don't have any choice. Once the sisters meet their needs, they find that most of the women keep their child or give that gift to a family who needs a child.

Well, I'm not sure how I got to this point from where I started, but it just spilled out.

Death

2008-09-05T16:45:00.000-07:00

This past week I've been vacationing at the manse in Stillwater. Tim and I have done some things on a couple of the afternoons but it seems that everytime we do something an animal dies.

On Wednesday we drove to Parsippany to do some shopping and have a celebratory dinner at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse (our favorite place). We haven't been to one in a couple of years because it is rather pricey, but this time we received an email invitation for dinner for two for $89. That's a bargain at RC so we made reservations and went. It was terrific - especially the chicken breast that was on our mixed grill entree. Mmmm. Anyway, on the way home it was dark and we came upon a car that was stopped on our side of the road. You could see a dying fawn lying the in the road. The guy got out of his car and came up to us to ask us to call someone about it. About that time an SUV came up from the other direction. It slowed down, but then drove right over the head of that poor deer. At least it put it out of its misery. A man got out of the next car and dragged the poor little thing to the side of the road and that was that.

The next day Tim and I went to the Four Sisters' Winery that is not too far from our house. We enjoyed a tasting and bought a couple of bottles then headed off to Johnny's Hot Dogs (on Route 46). It's an old-timey place with cheap hotdogs and Birch Rootbeer in frosty mugs. We ate outside by the creek on picnic tables and then headed home. On the way home, we could see up the road a little squirrel crossing the road. By the time he got to our lane he slowed down and stopped. I encouraged him to hurry but he didn't listen. Just as we got up to him he started scampering to the side of the road and I thought he was in the clear, but then the bugger did a 180 and came right back in the lane. Tim tried to straddle him, but just as we got up to him he headed back to the side and...well, we'll just call him dead animal #2.

Today was Tim's day off so we decided to have a lazy day at home. Tim cooked some raisin bread to take to a family who visited our church last Sunday. As we were heading out to deliver it, I got a scare from a little mouse that scurried across our patio when I opened the door. We have had a houseguest the past week (he took a bite of a juicy peach that was on the counter and an apple the next day). I was pleased to see him outside because I have really been working at keeping the kitchen mouse-proof. However, when we returned from the bread delivery, the little mouse was running across the patio again. When I say running that might be an exageration. He was pretty slow. Then I realized he must be a victim of the D-Con we placed under the sink. I've seen that look before. The first time was when I was 18 and living in Duncan in Mom and Dad's house when they were in Scotland. I almost bent over to pick up the mouse because I thought it was my dog's toy. Some guy friends of mine scooped him up in the dustpan and took him to the driveway where the friend drove over him with his Camaro. This time I asked Tim if he had a shovel so we could get him away from the house. Tim, not wanting to scoop up a live mouse who might get a sudden burst of energy and run up the handle, asked if I thought he shouldn't smack him to put him out of his misery. I agreed but went inside so I wouldn't have to witness it. A loud smack later and we had dead critter #3. What a week it's been and I still have two more days before I head back to Princeton!

Biography

2008-09-02T13:44:00.001-07:00

I've been told that I need to write a biographical essay before I go to my psychological assessment (no, I'm not crazy, it's just one of those hoops in the ordination process). So today while Tim was at work, I started writing. Then I thought, "Does this guy really care about my life, or is he just wanting to find where my problems are?" So perhaps I could save him some trouble by just letting him know what I think my rough edges are:

- I want things to be perfect. I want everyone to love me and my loved ones. I want my house to be clean and in order. I want to have my cake, eat it too, and then not gain the weight from doing so. When things don't go my way, then I either fight to get it that way or I throw up my hands and give up. It seems that there just can't be that area of grey.

So, should I just tell this guy all that stuff and save me the time of writing this essay? No, I will play his game and give him the what he wants. I'll let him try to figure out what my problem are and how he can fix me. After all, that's why he gets the big bucks!

Guilt Feelings

2008-08-30T19:51:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day I can sit back and really relax, yet all day I kept having a feeling that I needed to study flashcards or do some translations or something. Summer Hebrew is behind me but my brain can't let go. I even had a dream last night about talking to my dad in Hebrew.

So, Tim and I decided to go for a drive to the closest Target store and pick up some things for the house. The problem is the closest Target is about 30 minutes away from the manse in Stillwater (NJ). Another problem is everyone seemed to be on the road for the Labor Day weekend. Eventually we got where we needed to go but along the way we discovered some cool things:

- Stroudsburg, PA was having their Stroudsfest street festival. Tim's Main Street blood started getting excited and we agreed that they seemed to have a very healthy Main Street. We'll have to go back someday when it is not so busy.
- We took the scenic route home instead of getting back on I-80 and along the way we saw sky-divers floating above us. That was pretty strange but made sense a little farther down the road when we discovered a place that would take you up in a plane or helicopter and let you jump out. I might have been interested 15 years ago, but the thought of landing on the knees I have now makes me wince in pain.
- Most of the traffic we were driving with (even on the scenic route) turned off at a place we want to go to some day. Bushkill Falls (wonder if the Dems are fans of that place?) - it is described as the "Niagra of PA". Since all the cars were turning there, we decided to put that on our list of "things to do later."
- My fantastic scenic route wasn't very scenic in PA - too much traffic and built up areas. There were some nice places, but the best part was on the NJ side. It was very beautiful since we ended up driving over the Kitatinny Mountains that are just behind our house. The roads were steep and winding with awesome views. Our route took us a bit farther north than we needed to go because it was the only bridge besides the I-80 bridge to cross the Delaware River. The only problem was the bridge we were at was not what I expected. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't expensive. Some would consider it a bargain...only $1 (but 25 cents more than the I-80 bridge). HOWEVER, I DO NOT LIKE BRIDGES, and this particular one was the kind that look like a cage. Strike one against it. Strike two was the fact that it was very narrow. Strike three was the notice that it would be closed for four days next week for maintenance. Strike four (yep...we should have already been out) - the darn thing was a WOODEN bridge!!! Do they even have those things any more? Guess so, unless that is why they are closing in a few days. I doubt it though. I bet they are just going to hammer in some loose nails or something. Gee whiz, they should warn someone about those kind of bridges on the google map or something. Thankfully Tim was driving. I did make him stop on the other side though so I could take pictures of the monster. I'll post them soon.